On turning 45

Three days till I turn 45 – forty five! It doesn’t seem real; it’s a made-up number. Like two hundred and sixty gazillion.

My 40s have been rather eventful; I lost Molly, left the safety of everything I knew, got a Master’s degree, met the love of my life, discovered so much happiness, learned to crochet and make greetings cards, discovered art journaling, had fairly major surgery, was adopted by a lovely cat who we named Edison. As I write this, it feels like I have lived in overdrive over the past three years and at the moment, my 40s feels like the most eventful decade I have lived.

I am generally a happier person now. I don’t rant as much as I used to. I am not as crabby as I used to be. If the 35 year old Appu saw me now, she would be convinced I was being fed mind controlling drugs because a 35 year old me couldn’t imagine herself being so calm and content. I feel like I am wrapped in a cocoon of sunshine and love.

This is what being intentionally pregnant must feel like.

I look forward to this year; the rest of this decade even. So what do I hope for this year? Well, more of what I’ve had the past three years.

Actually, hang on – I do have some goals;

  • Achieve fitness goals (ongoing)
  • Work up the courage to do a youtube video of Laurence and I performing ‘When I’m sixty four’ (L on the uke and me on the guitar)
  • See more of the country (ongoing)
  • Save a bit more money (ditto)
  • Spend more time with paints
  • Make a Gelli plate
  • Knit socks (bought the knitting needles, now all I need to do is find the time)
  • Sew myself a dress
  • Eat healthy (ongoing)
  • Read more (trying very hard to fit this in somehow)
  • Cook the food I miss – vadapav, onion bhajis, idlis, dosa, biryani
  • Continue discovering London (one of my favourite things to do)

With the distinct exception of the goal #2, most of the above is ongoing or in the pipeline and I suspect I will do them all before May 2018.

So yes, I am content. I am where I should be and with whom I should be (not quite sure the last bit was grammatically correct but that’s alright).

What more could one ask for?

(Winning the lottery)